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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

My Boss Is Relentless

When I asked Tim what was on his mind, he really opened up.  
“I love my job.  I really do.  But there are some things that make it really unbearable.  I mean, I’m really good at what I do.  Well, that’s what my friends tell me.  The company is great, and I believe in our products.  From what I see, we are in a great position to grow, and I could have seen myself happy here for a long time...could have. You see, it’s her fault.  You’ve met her.  Yeah, my Boss.  Wait, I’m not saying she’s a bad person.  I’ve met her husband and kids, and they all seem really happy when they’re together.  Her brother works here too.  He’s also an owner, and he’s not like her.  You see, she’s quite bright.   No, actually she’s brilliant.  She’s patented several of our formulas and is respected industry wide.  But my issue is that she’s relentless.  She is all over me.  I just can’t seem to be doing enough to please her.  I don’t know how the others do it. I cant take it.  Yes, that’s why I’m leaving.  You need to help me”
I first met Tim at one of my networking events - “1,2,3@5”.  This is an open networking event I host 4 times each year, attended by a few hundred people.  It’s fabulous networking, and has been labeled as the “premiere networking event” in the business community.  But, it is not the place for confidential coaching.  So when Tim was introduced to me he said, “Steve, I have been wanting to meet you.  Based upon your success Coaching other executives, I know you are the right person to help me.”  I thanked Tim for the gracious compliment in front of the few gathered in our circle near the entrance, and suggested we meet soon to chat in private.  When we met a week later, Tim told me his story, and diagnosed what he felt was his issue.
When I am engaged with a career coaching client, so many times  the client will tell me they love their job, but they can’t work for their Boss.  It’s always the Boss’s fault.  Yeah, that’s right.  Typically this is the Boss who built up a nice $100m business, is admired by the community, and is followed by a growing number of successful “C” level leaders.  We have all met this Leader.  To be this successful, many times they embody most of the behaviors of the Rare Leader™.  
So why then, does Tim, and perhaps many of you have this identical issue?  First, let’s be honest and cut to the truth.  Many times people who self diagnose their issues are the worst doctors.  They locate all sorts of cuts and bruises and apply nice looking band-aids, and take ibuprofen, and all seems well...for a day or two.  These self diagnosers never find the core issues beneath these symptoms of pain and discomfort.  It is far too difficult to look inside yourself with any deep effective level of an unbiased assessment.
Tim, while thinking this was all about his Boss, had self diagnosed himself to be distant from the problem.  After all, this Millennial has what it takes.  A nice degree, a quality internship, a good family legacy in business, and after 18 months on the job, Tim is ready for the world.  He does not have the patience to be treated like a kid by his Boss.  Tim  sees himself ready to be anointed for greatness.
One of the behaviors that made Tim’s boss successful was her Achievement Drive.  As one of the 12 behaviors of the Rare Leader™, she knew she needed to achieve, and realized she needed to lead others to achieve.  She had Goal Clarity from her collaborative work with her Team.  Tim knew she was persistent.  But Tim only saw her persistence as pushing and prodding and “bugging him”, rather than her actually trying to motivate him to also be decisive and take action.  Tim was so self involved, that he did not see that Kate’s pushing and prodding made those around her successful too.  In reality, Tim was too selfish to see his Boss cared so much for him that she was making every effort to help him succeed.  
Now, after several Coaching sessions, Tim was hoping it was not too late to revive his chances with Kate.  Had Kate given up on Tim?
  1. Can YOU save your career?
  2. Are your job frustrations someone else’s fault...or your own?
  3. Are you too self involved to see others are trying to help you? 
  4. Do you self diagnosed your problems at work?
  5. Does your Team understand why you push and prod them to achieve?
If you want to learn more about the Rare Leader™ in you, 
or if you are interested in retaining Steve as your Executive Coach, 
Contact Steve Riege via: twitter, or his website.

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