My Boss Is Relentless

When I asked Tim what was on his mind, he really opened up.  

“I love my job.  I really do.  But there are some things that make it really unbearable.  I mean, I’m really good at what I do.  Well, that’s what my friends tell me.  The company is great, and I believe in our products.  From what I see, we are in a great position to grow, and I could have seen myself happy here for a long time...could have. You see, it’s her fault.  You’ve met her.  Yeah, my Boss.  Wait, I’m not saying she’s a bad person.  I’ve met her husband and kids, and they all seem really happy when they’re together.  Her brother works here too.  He’s also an owner, and he’s not like her.  You see, she’s quite bright.   No, actually she’s brilliant.  She’s patented several of our formulas and is respected industry wide.  But my issue is that she’s relentless.  She is all over me.  I just can’t seem to be doing enough to please her.  I don’t know how the others do it. I cant take it.  Yes, that’s why I’m leaving.  You need to help me”

I first met Tim at one of my networking events - “1,2,3@5”.  This is an open networking event I host 4 times each year, attended by a few hundred people.  It’s fabulous networking, and has been labeled as the “premiere networking event” in the business community.  But, it is not the place for confidential coaching.  So when Tim was introduced to me he said, “Steve, I have been wanting to meet you.  Based upon your success Coaching other executives, I know you are the right person to help me.”  I thanked Tim for the gracious compliment in front of the few gathered in our circle near the entrance, and suggested we meet soon to chat in private.  When we met a week later, Tim told me his story, and diagnosed what he felt was his issue.

When I am engaged with a career coaching client, so many times  the client will tell me they love their job, but they can’t work for their Boss.  It’s always the Boss’s fault.  Yeah, that’s right.  Typically this is the Boss who built up a nice $100m business, is admired by the community, and is followed by a growing number of successful “C” level leaders.  We have all met this Leader.  To be this successful, many times they embody most of the behaviors of the Rare Leader™.  

So why then, does Tim, and perhaps many of you have this identical issue?  First, let’s be honest and cut to the truth.  Many times people who self diagnose their issues are the worst doctors.  They locate all sorts of cuts and bruises and apply nice looking band-aids, and take ibuprofen, and all seems well...for a day or two.  These self diagnosers never find the core issues beneath these symptoms of pain and discomfort.  It is far too difficult to look inside yourself with any deep effective level of an unbiased assessment.

Tim, while thinking this was all about his Boss, had self diagnosed himself to be distant from the problem.  After all, this Millennial has what it takes.  A nice degree, a quality internship, a good family legacy in business, and after 18 months on the job, Tim is ready for the world.  He does not have the patience to be treated like a kid by his Boss.  Tim  sees himself ready to be anointed for greatness.

One of the behaviors that made Tim’s boss successful was her Achievement Drive.  As one of the 12 behaviors of the Rare Leader™, she knew she needed to achieve, and realized she needed to lead others to achieve.  She had Goal Clarity from her collaborative work with her Team.  Tim knew she was persistent.  But Tim only saw her persistence as pushing and prodding and “bugging him”, rather than her actually trying to motivate him to also be decisive and take action.  Tim was so self involved, that he did not see that Kate’s pushing and prodding made those around her successful too.  In reality, Tim was too selfish to see his Boss cared so much for him that she was making every effort to help him succeed.  

Now, after several Coaching sessions, Tim was hoping it was not too late to revive his chances with Kate.  Had Kate given up on Tim?

1. Can YOU save your career?
2. Are your job frustrations someone else’s fault...or your own?
3. Are you too self involved to see others are trying to help you? 
4. Do you self diagnosed your problems at work?
5. Does your Team understand why you push and prod them to achieve?

If you want to learn more about the Rare Leader™ in you, 

or if you are interested in retaining Steve as your Executive Coach, 

Contact Steve Riege via: twitter, or his website.

Committed to Achieve?

When I initially meet with my coaching clients, we complete an initial assessment.  Part of the assessment helps begin to uncover core issues for our future work together.  New clients  usually take great care to explain who they are.  However, because we have not yet built the trust required in a coaching relationship, these new clients are careful not to disclose anything too revealing, or damaging.  

True to form, it’s almost as if they have a scripted message they never tire of delivering.  I’ve heard it so many times.  If its a family business, they talk of their Grandfathers dedication and vision to build this company passed on through the generations.  

If not a family business, their self assessment initially focuses on their targeted education from a respected University, their rise from an entry level job, and their baby boomer work ethic that took them to the top.  

Bill told me about his rise to the top, but became agitated when speaking to his reason for seeking my help.  “No one here shares my passion for our mission, goals, and objectives...I seem to be the only one with the drive, and commitment to make certain we’re successful”  

I always find it interesting the burden some executives feel that they are alone in their quest for success.  They feel like the 3 handicap golfer always dragging the 15 handicapper in the 2 golfer best-ball tourney.  Bill’s shoulders were tired.

I decided to ask Bill’s permission to speak with some of the employees to gain their honest perspective...(This was something he had never done).  Focusing on Bills assumed solo ride on the “commitment train”, I discovered some valuable perspectives.  Some substantiated comments were;

• “Yeah, Bill’s pretty crazy about his wanting to win.”
• “Bill constantly complains in leadership meetings about the Team not getting on board...Frankly, I’m not certain what that means.  Bill’s all over the place with his goal of the week.”
• “That’s pretty funny actually.  Like last week when he was all over us, driving us, really angry, telling us we must not care...and then he decided at the last minute yesterday to go on some golf trip today with his buddies, and canceled our Team meeting.  This commitment thing comes and goes with him.”
• “Committed to his vision?  Committed to his goals?  Oh, yes, that’s Bill all right.  But to be honest, I’m not certain what this vision is, and what specific goals he has set.  How  am I supposed to join him if I don’t know what he really wants?”

As Bill and I spent more time together, we found that trust which is required to build the foundation of our work.  Eventually a more complete disclosure of “what keeps Bill awake at night” came through.  Over time, Bill discovered solutions to some bigger internal issues, enabling him to find confidence with himself and his Team.  

Bill found he was able to work with his Team to collaboratively discover the Company vision, and set a course of accountable actions to reach goals towards success.  This goal clarity enabled Bill and his Team to see the vision and goals together as partners, and share in the strategies and tactics.  

The shared accountability between Bill and his Team, and between the Team Members gave a new level of commitment and persistence towards achieving goals.  This persistence was fueled by a functional trusting Team, with a leader sharing and encouraging his commitment to achievement.  

As you think of your own Achievement Drive, answer these questions;

1. Are you considered “crazy” or “passionate” about your achievement drive?
2. Are you “consistent” with your Goals, or “flexible” as needed?  
3. Are you “committed”, or merely “participating” with high energy?
4. Are you a high achiever at providing clarity with your Team?
5. Are you driven by “goal clarity”?

If you want to learn more about the Rare Leader™ in you, 

or if you are interested in retaining Steve as your Executive Coach, 

Contact Steve Riege via: twitter, or his website.